Before you can grow into strength, your life must put you through a personal and internal psychotic hell. To prove that you have what it takes. To be stronger. Are you actually stronger? Prove it. I work my way through this world with a deeply hungry soul, slow to be satiated by the confection of challenging life, knowing my cravings are pushing me to new lengths to receive what I need. I need the hunger, the desire.
And it needs me.
This is how you grow. First, you feel a need, for something. The need begins to grow and soon forms a hole inside of you that needs to be filled. It grows and tortures and taunts you to utter insanity and then you p u s h h a r d e r to your greatest lengths to find your missing piece.
It’s where you learn the most about yourself. You see who you are.
It’s in hunger. It’s in love. It’s aliveness. addiction. passion.
I have so many. I have so, so many passions. So many things I feel I need to feel in this life.
It’s a confusing life, keeping feelings protected, and yet have them in such abundance. My feelings wash over me like a salty wave barreling to the shore, and brims in my eyes. Showering down my face in such abundance. How could one person ever feel so much?
Depth of heart. I feel mine sink to the core of the earth. Beaming up through me to the sky. In every angle, my heart grasps for love and humanity and compassion and strength. How have we come to live in such a dark place? How have we abandoned the life and beauty in all of the things around us? Everywhere there is beauty. Everywhere there is life. And art. And love.
I don’t understand how we could miss it.