Sometimes I question why I love modeling. At a purely objective standpoint, it feels self-indulgent and vain. When I judge myself, it feels like a cry for validation, importance and relevance. Truthfully, it is all of those things. It's an attempt to express my relationship to myself, and the varied experiences of a full life.
Modeling, for me, comes from the same place acting does. It's a deep emotional expression and an attempt to communicate a personal message to the public. In many ways, it's a release; nurturing the relationship I have with myself. I attempt to express a part of myself that doesn't commonly have an outlet.
When I model, I speak from my heart.
I write with my eyes.
I love and I hate with my hands.
Everything I do is a careful, but intentional dance of truth.
I want to look at myself and see my life. I want to see strength and beauty and perseverance. I want to see my scars and and the strangeness of what lives inside of me. It is incredibly self-indulgent. It's also my voice, at times my motivation, and always my own personal therapy.